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Molly Lewis - Chop Chop

from Flaw Fest by Joseph Scrimshaw and Friends

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about

Molly Lewis' musical take on Joseph's James Bond story in the track "GoldenCrouch."

lyrics

I'm tasked with your assassination
But I don't like confrontation
I would much prefer a quiet hit & run

But at combat I am cruddy
and stabbing gets too bloody
and it isn't sportsmanlike to use a gun

Swords are really not my style
Poison capsules take a while.
Though the interaction's what I mostly dread

But when my hand is at the ready
and my arm is strong and steady
I can chop you in the ass until you're dead

And I'm like CHOP! CHOP!
and the henchmen hit the floor
when I go CHOP! CHOP!
They won't be henching anymore

Doesn't look the best
But it moves me on my quest
Don't act like you're not impressed

You're under orders, and I get that
but I'm bad at making chit chat
It's not personal, you're stationed in my way

I guess I could try to seduce you
But that isn't what I'm used to
And sexy spies are kind of a cliché

I'm not troubled by the killing
But I find I'm less than willing
To avail myself of anybody's gaze

I'm not a brute, I'm not a terrorist
I'm just easily embarrassed
And gunfire only adds to my malaise

So I'm like CHOP CHOP
and the baddies hit the ground
when I'm like CHOP CHOP
And they make the weirdest sound

One part yodel, two parts scream
Yet your partner doesn't seem
To notice that you took one for the team

When I'm like CHOP CHOP
You can't see me when I squat
So I go CHOP CHOP
Might sound sexy, but it's not

There's no technique or grace
When I'm chopping your third base
But I don't want to look you in the face.

credits

from Flaw Fest, released November 5, 2013
Written, performed, and produced by Molly Lewis.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Joseph Scrimshaw Los Angeles, California

Joseph Scrimshaw is a filmmaker, comedian, writer, and squirrel enthusiast. He's written for TV, radio, and the stage. his plays and films have been seen worldwide. He’s performed at multiple Fringe festivals, comedy festivals, theaters, bars, and conventions across the country. He also co-hosts the ForceCenter Podcast Feed and enjoys a good martini. ... more

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